Kane Roberts - Kane Roberts (1987) CDRip

Rambo rocker Kane Roberts dropped his first solo slab at the height of '80s hair hokum, the only environment in which this slick slice-and-dice axe-fest could possibly prosper. But while his fellow backup brother from the Alice Cooper camp, Kip Winger, went on to considerable success, Roberts' eponymous outing created nary a stir. Definitely not an essential recording, but a fun wad of dated craziness, the gargantuan guitarist's first is filled with fist-clenching, fuel-injected, shout-along choruses about hot-wired machines: some metal, but mostly female. Even the big man's razor-sharp riffs can't keep this cheese from curdling, as contributors like the aforementioned Winger, hard-hearted Alice himself, and trivia question Robbie Dupree can't help the songwriting surpass the clever level established by titles like "Rock Doll," "Too Much (For Anyone to Touch)," and the infectious "Triple X." Some glam-like bits rise above briefly, but overall this deletion deserves its place in obscurity: impossible to hate, but easy to ignore. Sure, "If This Is Heaven" swings sillily enough, but the Kane Roberts debut mostly demonstrates why poodle pop-metal must forever fight for props. Look, a listener can grow to like anything, but this is flat, corporate hair without the hits, so be careful how much you shell out for Kane Roberts.