Sara Gazarek - Thirsty Ghost (2019) [Hi-Res]

Stumbling into a recording contract right out of college not only came with big management and an even bigger booking agency — it also came with what felt like big responsibility. At 20 years old, I was recording, touring, interacting with press and new fans. And, while everything in my career seemed to be moving in the right direction, I now see how this level of visibility at such a young age actually created a certain amount of pressure to “be the happy girl in the dress” that I felt my mentors and managers expected. I had been told that the ultimate goal was to craft a set of fun, light music that left people feeling happier than when they’d come in the door. And my band and I were giving it to them.

But three years ago (15 years in, then as a 34 year old woman), I found myself processing the dissolution of a marriage, the separation of a long term musical partnership, and my mothers almost catastrophic car accident. It was my dear friend and mentor Kurt Elling who spoke these very poignant words, and sent me on an incredibly transformative path:

“I see who you are… And it’s so much bigger, so much deeper, so much more multi-dimensional than your music is right now. Don’t be afraid to walk away from what you think people want from you – and to step into all of the depth, darkness, and radiance of who you really are. That’s what we are thirsty for. The honest, messy, beautiful YOU.”

The resulting musical journey took three years to complete — traversing a new relationship rife with doubts, lies, and infidelity, exploring new collaborations (with musicians Geoff Keezer, Larry Goldings, Stu Mindeman, Josh Johnson, and Alan Ferber), traveling abroad, endless questions, new compositions, risks… In the end, internalizing the idea that “A forest never grows, higher than the depths it knows // The warmth of sunlight comes and goes, but beauty only grows, When It Rains.”

“Thirsty Ghost” explores that honest, messy, beautiful place of hunger, thirst, wanting more – more connection, more transparency, a more whole hearted experience that occurs when we address the lessons that come with taking a deep look at adulthood. Through a series of new instrumental colors (including rhythm section, rhodes/organ, bass clarinet, alto sax, and trombone, percussion, and background vocals), some very special guests (Kurt Elling, Larry Goldings), new original material, contemporary covers (Stevie Wonder, Dolly Parton, Sam Smith), and jazz standards, my hope is that my audience will see their own whole hearted experiences reflected in this music – the light AND the dark.